tackled

Sorry I've not been posting lately. My parents came into town with my sister and brother-in-law for a weekend visit, and we took off for Maine. The fall leaves were long past their peak, but it was still nice to be out by a lake and just have time to hang out together. One thing we did to get out of the cold was see The Departed. It was excellent! Leonardo DiCaprio was amazing. I think his best scene was the one in the shrink's office. If he doesn't at least get an Academy Award nomination, I am going to refuse to attend the awards ceremony from now on, no matter how good the swag bag. (Just kidding, they never invite me, those bastards).

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I had been planning to tell my sister and brother-in-law that I'm gay sometime during the weekend, but when I discussed it with my parents, I ended up deciding it would be unfair (and perhaps hurtful) to tell them and not tell the other siblings at the same time. And since my mom is still worried that my other sister will blab uncontrollably, it's not time for her to know yet. (If you're new to the story, I have no agenda for coming out. Now that my parents know, I'm largely indifferent. So, if my mom needs more time, I'm happy to give that to her. After all, she still lives in my little hometown full of gossips and back-stabbers; I don't. And since she wants to tell her best friends first, rather than have them hear it through the grapevine and be the subject of whispers, I'm perfectly happy to make that work for her. If that means waiting to tell my siblings, I'm ok with that.)

Anyway, we were out to dinner last night and it was a lot of fun. I had a pomegranate margarita. Have you ever heard of such a thing? I hadn't. It was yummy. I kept text messaging with my friend Dave, and at one point my sister asked who it was. I told her it was somebody she didn't know. She asked who, and I said "Dave."

Then, after the night was over, I went to the room I was sharing with my parents, and my sister and bro-in-law went to theirs next door. I got out a copy of The Advocate for my dad to read, and he said "You know, your sister just asked me whether Dave is your boyfriend." Naturally, I asked "Oh reeeeeeeaaaallllyyyyy!?" He said yes, and that she said "He came out to you, didn't he?!" My dad said he told her "I take the 5th, I don't know anything."

As soon as my mom came out of the bathroom I had my dad tell her what happened, and I said "Oh come on, this is just a stupid charade. This is silly." She agreed, and so I walked next-door in my PJs.

I knocked on the door, my sister answered, and I walked past her. My BIL was laying on the bed. I went over and stood between the beds, and before she'd even left the door I said "Ok, I have something to tell you, because this has gotten silly. Dave is not my boyfriend, but I am gay."

It happened so fast that I don't think it registered for either of them. But as soon as my sister processed it she squealed, ran toward me with her arms up, hugged me, tackled me onto the bed behind me, and said "Oh, Brother, I'm so happy for you!" My BIL, being new to the family and not really knowing what to do, just smiled.

We sat on the beds and talked for a little while about it, and it was very comfortable. They had both known for years, and had often talked about it. They had been worried that I was in denial or was struggling with it, and so were very happy to hear that I was on the path to living my life freely. They were excited to hear that I'd been dating. They feared that my mom was holding me back, but they understood it once I explained it. My BIL was actually the first one to ask a question, which I thought was great. He wanted to know how long I'd known.

Anyway, it wasn't a big relief or anything because I already knew they strongly suspected. But it's nice to have confirmation that my family loves me and is standing behind me and is excited for me. It was a weekend well spent!