janice dickinson and coming out and saying no
I just got an email about a great resource. I thought I'd share it, since I'm sure a number of you could benefit. It's 100+ Resources for Coming Out of the Closet. I'm quite pleased that DTB shows up in the list! I wish I'd had something like this when I was coming out, so I hope you find it useful.
In other news, I saw Janice Dickinson at breakfast this morning. She is so crazy, I love her. There was also this incredibly smoking hot (straight) Latino guy waiting for a table. I didn't even try to pretend I wasn't staring.
I think I've posted this before, but I can't get enough of it. This is my favorite video of Janice Dickinson. Watch her arms!
So I'm in a sort of weird situation. Well, I guess it's not weird in the grand scheme of things, but it is for me. Usually I get all excited about a boy, go on a few dates, and then it just kinda fizzles with a "meh" on both sides. I have a friend who always tries to get me to articulate why I don't like the guy anymore, but it usually really is just "meh." This time, I've hit that stage where I'm ready to move on to another fleeting obsession, but he's still really interested. Because it's usually mutual, I never have to do anything about it; we just stop calling. But this time I feel obligated to say something, because it would be mean to just stop responding. So, what do I do? How do you nicely tell somebody you're not interested?
In other news, I saw Janice Dickinson at breakfast this morning. She is so crazy, I love her. There was also this incredibly smoking hot (straight) Latino guy waiting for a table. I didn't even try to pretend I wasn't staring.
I think I've posted this before, but I can't get enough of it. This is my favorite video of Janice Dickinson. Watch her arms!
So I'm in a sort of weird situation. Well, I guess it's not weird in the grand scheme of things, but it is for me. Usually I get all excited about a boy, go on a few dates, and then it just kinda fizzles with a "meh" on both sides. I have a friend who always tries to get me to articulate why I don't like the guy anymore, but it usually really is just "meh." This time, I've hit that stage where I'm ready to move on to another fleeting obsession, but he's still really interested. Because it's usually mutual, I never have to do anything about it; we just stop calling. But this time I feel obligated to say something, because it would be mean to just stop responding. So, what do I do? How do you nicely tell somebody you're not interested?
posted by Matt at 1:36 PM
11 Comments:
Matt,
Glad to see you are back posting, I missed you.
I've been out for what seems like forever, but it was great to read the site on how to come out. Every young ( or old for that matter) closeted guy should read it.
As for moving on with a new obsession, you should know,,,,just be honest and say it is just not working.
The truth may sting, but it never is the wrong thing to do.
I don’t for one second believe that in your past most of your dates, lovers, or whatever fizzle simultaneously.
I think you have even said the opposite in previous posts.
With respect to your current situation, only you know if you have given the current boy a fair chance, careful not to judge too harshly too soon. After careful consideration, if he is not right for you, just tell him you don’t want to pursue anymore dates with him.
I do not want to be harsh, but might it be possible, you're to picky?
Anyone can date someone hot, but it takes effort to develop into something special.
ask yourself what attracted you in the boy in the first place (apart for his looks, that is).
if you want to grow old with someone, you cannot be picky, because perfection is an illusion (weird thing to say, as a perfectionist)
if after all that thought, you still cannot come up with a good reason to give the guy a chance, I'd suggest you break it off gently.
good luck from Holland
Be honest. Don't string him along. Don't be blunt and tactless, but avoiding the subject isn't fair either. If you're not interested in him, I'm sure he'd rather know. Very few people want to be with someone who doesn't want them back.
I agree with everything said. you need to let him know. My last bf just stopped calling and that was after FOUR months. Be gentle and im sure he will understand.
Fricker
Wow, Fricker. That's really bad. I'm sorry to hear that.
It is tough to strike the balance between gentle and clear. But overall it really is better when you provide a bit of closure for the other guy. I've been on the other side of this so many times and, really, it's much worse when you're left to wonder. . . because you can end up feeling strung along in retrospect.
It's true that either way might involve some pain, but I think being upfront about it (politely, of course) really does provide the best way for the other guy to move on more quickly.
"It's not you, it's me" is cliched, but some version of it might work well here. Don't feel you need to over-explain, though. You owe him closure, but if you've only been going on dates a short while, you probably don't owe him too much more than that.
Janice Dickerson is so crazy but intrieging all at the same time.
You blog was without doubt my number 1 coming out resource. It convinced me to tell my parents, and when I did I even (shamelessly) copied your written lists of things that must be said. And it worked perfectly.
Not sure if I ever thanked you. So thank you.
Richard
ugh, this is exactly why i can't stand californias. superficials bitches, the lot.
This post has been removed by the author.
Californians are all superficial bitches!? WOW "anonymous" that's a very bold statement. I would never actually deny the validity of your words, but it sounds like somebody's a little bitter because they are fat and bald... My perfectly coiffed hair, six pack and manscaped body hair are going to head down to the local gay bar to go make fun of ugly people now! Matt I suggest you go do the same, but instead of choosing random people you go make fun of that guy that likes you! He'll totally get the hint and back off after that.
How much does it rock being a superficial Californian!?
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