traffic school, and I'm lonely
Can anybody recommend an online traffic school in California? The court gave me a big long list of potential websites, but it's too many to even go through. Have you done it and had a good experience? If so, please send any recommendations my way.
Here is my wish list:
1. Short (Some of these suckers go all day! I'd rather do 4 or 6 intense hours.)
2. Passive (Insofar as possible, I don't want to have to pay attention. I'd rather be multi-tasking.)
3. Efficient (I want to cut out the fluff. Unless it doesn't add to the total number of hours, I don't want any jokes or anecdotes wasting my time. Let's get this shit done. Facts only.)
4. Flexible (I want one that I can start and stop multiple times, in case I don't have a 6 hour block available.)
5. Cheap (Obviously. But I'd rather pay more for a good one than save $10 and have to sit through shit.)
6. Easy (I don't want one where if I fail the final exam I have to start over. I want to be able to go back to the relevant section, look up the answer, and pass.)
_______________________________
Also, I'm lonely. And, ironically, it was a really great hook-up this weekend that made me realize it.
I have a friend who is just coming out, and he asks my advice a lot. He also had a random hook-up this weekend, and was concerned about it because he thought it would preclude more meaningful sex. My sage advice was to relax, because there are at least two kinds of sex: (1) meaningless fun sex, which is basically masturbation, but using a body instead of your hand, and (2) meaningful sex with somebody you care about.
I don't know about you, but for me the second is FAR better than the first. But it only comes along every so often. So my advice was, in the meantime, you might as well have fun meaningless sex. As long as it doesn't get in the way of having the important kind when the time comes (and, of course, assuming you're safe) what's the harm?
In retrospect, I think I was blowing smoke out my ass to justify my whoring. This guy I hooked up with had THE hottest body I've ever had my hands on. You know when you go to a club, and there are go-go dancers up on the tables with their perfect ass and 8-pack abs and v-shaped fuck-me muscles and strong back and nice biceps and long legs and tight everything, and you think to yourself "Fuck, I want to lick that! I wonder what lucky bastard gets to take him home!" Well, it was me. And it was a lot of fun! But it left me feeling quite empty because, after a likely-not-to-be-fulfilled promise to call him (which, lets be honest, was only requested after he saw my car) he went home and I slept by myself. With no prospects of meaningful sex in the immediate future. So I got to thinking about my last few encounters, and they were all relatively similar: hot guy I have no right to be with, but who I wouldn't want to actually date if given the opportunity, and then it's over and I'm alone.
Maybe there's something to the idea that you should save yourself for a guy you are interested in. I'm not talking about waiting for marriage (Oh, wait, I can't get married. That's right.) I'm just talking about saving it for the fourth date or so, when you know you want to invest in the relationship. On the other hand, why waste my youth? It won't be forever that I get to lick who I want to. I don't know.
Here is my wish list:
1. Short (Some of these suckers go all day! I'd rather do 4 or 6 intense hours.)
2. Passive (Insofar as possible, I don't want to have to pay attention. I'd rather be multi-tasking.)
3. Efficient (I want to cut out the fluff. Unless it doesn't add to the total number of hours, I don't want any jokes or anecdotes wasting my time. Let's get this shit done. Facts only.)
4. Flexible (I want one that I can start and stop multiple times, in case I don't have a 6 hour block available.)
5. Cheap (Obviously. But I'd rather pay more for a good one than save $10 and have to sit through shit.)
6. Easy (I don't want one where if I fail the final exam I have to start over. I want to be able to go back to the relevant section, look up the answer, and pass.)
_______________________________
Also, I'm lonely. And, ironically, it was a really great hook-up this weekend that made me realize it.
I have a friend who is just coming out, and he asks my advice a lot. He also had a random hook-up this weekend, and was concerned about it because he thought it would preclude more meaningful sex. My sage advice was to relax, because there are at least two kinds of sex: (1) meaningless fun sex, which is basically masturbation, but using a body instead of your hand, and (2) meaningful sex with somebody you care about.
I don't know about you, but for me the second is FAR better than the first. But it only comes along every so often. So my advice was, in the meantime, you might as well have fun meaningless sex. As long as it doesn't get in the way of having the important kind when the time comes (and, of course, assuming you're safe) what's the harm?
In retrospect, I think I was blowing smoke out my ass to justify my whoring. This guy I hooked up with had THE hottest body I've ever had my hands on. You know when you go to a club, and there are go-go dancers up on the tables with their perfect ass and 8-pack abs and v-shaped fuck-me muscles and strong back and nice biceps and long legs and tight everything, and you think to yourself "Fuck, I want to lick that! I wonder what lucky bastard gets to take him home!" Well, it was me. And it was a lot of fun! But it left me feeling quite empty because, after a likely-not-to-be-fulfilled promise to call him (which, lets be honest, was only requested after he saw my car) he went home and I slept by myself. With no prospects of meaningful sex in the immediate future. So I got to thinking about my last few encounters, and they were all relatively similar: hot guy I have no right to be with, but who I wouldn't want to actually date if given the opportunity, and then it's over and I'm alone.
Maybe there's something to the idea that you should save yourself for a guy you are interested in. I'm not talking about waiting for marriage (Oh, wait, I can't get married. That's right.) I'm just talking about saving it for the fourth date or so, when you know you want to invest in the relationship. On the other hand, why waste my youth? It won't be forever that I get to lick who I want to. I don't know.
posted by Matt at 10:17 PM
17 Comments:
www.TrafficSchoolOnline.com
No extra crap - log in and out as needed. I suggest doing it within 1 or 2 days because you take chapter tests, then have to take a final. I think I cut 2 hours off the estimated time to complete. You WILL have to focus - not multitask - so that you can get the info. The questions are specific to the presentation.
its one of the great questions posed by societal morals. Do I play the field or wait for the love of my life?
The answer is both unless you to subscribe to other peoples sense of morality. Granted, its probably not the best idea to hook up a lot and with people you don't well if at all. I was robbed in a situation like that once. However, whether you screw around with 10 people or 100 will make no difference to the love of your life when the two of you finally meet. If it does, then i would question that person's ability to accept me with all of my flaws as well as the great parts.
And in the meantime, make sure you have plenty of great friends and not just arm candy so to speak. That will make all the difference between today and when the "one" crosses your path.
Your obviously hot enough if your going home with guys like that. At the same time, don't not date someone because you percieve them as to hot for you.
Have the fun sex without emotional ties, than see if the guy wants to join you for some afterfuck dessert, icecream, cake, donuts, yogurt, mandarins. See if you have a good conversation, if yes, call him and go on a real, date. Everyone seems to think relationships come out of nowhere, they require time and risks. You can't know a trick if you don't talk to them about their life. Who knows where it goes. also just because you have sex when you met, doesn't mean you have to sex on dates after that, hold your horses until the sex is more meaningful. Sex once doesn't mean youll have sex on every date after. Theres something to be said for a hot make out session, than stopping, builds up the drive for when you do go at it again.
You should totally read the Commitment by Dan Savage. He talks about similar dilemmas. Also stop looking for relationships at the bar, could always find them at a coffee shop, bookstore, volunteering(met 3 of my 5 LTR boyfriends this way), social activity groups (swimming, hiking, running, painting etc) or even the clerk at the shoe store as you buys someting, its how I met my current guy, third date is wednesday. it has potential, well be friends at least of it doesnt wor out
Good luck, also boys are stupid and we should throw rocks at them
i.m.h.o. there is no meaningful and meaningless sex, there is just good and bad sex.
After the 1st variety it is a natural reflex to feel lonely, coz you want more, a promiss of a repeat.
The best sex in my life happened with two guys sofar: with both I had done it about 10 times, before I knew their fist name. Of one of those I still dont know his second name.
Any sex can only start off with a certain degree of attraction by both partners. If that's not there no one will move. read the signs. If they are red: do not proceed!
Bad sex is when one of the two does not tune into the red or green body signs of the other; does not read them signs in your eyes, mouth, movements.
I've been thinking about this a lot as well. I have a friend whom I think is incredible and would love to date/have sex with/marry? him, yet I don't know if my feelings are or ever will be reciprocated (I will be letting him know how I feel very soon though). Since I've had these feelings for a month or two now, I haven't really been trying to meet or hook up with anyone else. I realize that it may be stupid because he isn't my b/f or anything and I have no obligations to him, but I somehow just wouldn't feel right doing something with someone else when I know that all I would be thinking about is him. Obviously, you don't have that problem, but the idea of meaningless vs. meaningful sex is still an interesting dilemma and I'd love to see what others will say.
question...
what did you do to HAVE to go to traffic school? ...and, since you did it, now you have to pay the price.
With all due respect, suck it up, stop complaining and trying to find ways around the work part of it and go/do it.
TL is right (unfortunately) that you have to pay attention & no multi tasking...IMHO, traffic school is such a waste of time...I mean, if you were caught speeding why must you be forced to sit through hours of common sense videos...I'm still gonna speed...duh!?
Congrats on getting the hot Go-Go boy, and I'm sorry you're feeling lonely!
Traffic school is part of the punishment, suck it up and quit whining.
I just whored around until the right guy fell into my bed.
Probably not the best way to go about it but it worked for me. ;)
I don't have an answer for you, but I guess I also don't quite understand the problem. If you're lonely, and sleeping with random hot guys isn't fixing that, then try to figure out why you're lonely. If you feel guilty about sleeping around, then stop doing it. If you don't feel guilty, you enjoy yourself, and you're being safe, then keep sleeping around, but I don't think it has anything to do with being lonely. As you told your friend, the first kind of sex is meaningless fun sex. If you're lonely, I suggest looking at the other people in your life, what in particular isn't being fulfilled, and try to figure out what you want.
If you want someone to wake up next to and share your life, then stop sleeping around because it will distract you from that. If you're not ready for something that serious, I think Alana said it right. Sleep around around until the right guy falls into your bed. When he does, don't kick him out. Bring him breakfast and read the paper together instead.
You're obviously smart, attractive, wealthy, and have everything going for you, Matt, so just don't make it so complicated. If you're lonely, figure out why.
Oh, and quit complaining about traffic school. It's not a big deal.
One reason to have less random sex is because sex is never really safe. Condoms just tilt the odds toward safety. The famous Davis and Weller paper, a meta-analysis of condom‘s effectiveness in preventing HIV infection, estimates that condoms are 87% effective for HIV prevention in heterosexual couples. However, that is an average, the analyzed data revealed a range of 60% to 95.8% effectiveness (using a 95% confidence interval). I believe you should think about the lower end of the effectiveness range with regard to anal sex, because the condom must act as a blood barrier more often with anal sex as compared to vaginal sex.
For quality control purposes the FDA allows manufacturers to have 4 out of 1000 condoms to leak water. And I am sure most of you have heard the stories about failures and mishaps at the FDA in terms of regulation and sampling. A sample of various condoms from the various manufactures revealed that within the FDA allowed failure rate some condoms allowed up to 100% of HIV to pass through the latex membrane, which means it is possible to buy a condom that offers ZERO protection against HIV.
Of course, condoms don’t really protect against HPV (now linked to some oral cancers) or herpes, because both of those viruses can be transmitted by skin to skin contact not covered by a condom. If you have had more than 10 sexual partners (gay males) there is a greater than 60% chance that HPV can be found in your ass even if you’re a top, the number is higher if you’re a bottom, the number is 100% according to some sources if you’re HIV+. There are over 100 types of HPV some say over 200 types, once infected you can be asymptomatic and shed virus particles (infect others) for 3+ years, it is not know why some people go on to develop warts and\or cancer and others do not.
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/c0cf508ff8/prop-8-the-musical-starring-jack-black-john-c-reilly-and-many-more-from-fod-team-jack-black-craig-robinson-john-c-reilly-and-rashida-jones
Traffic School in the UK is different, it only takes one afternoon and you have to go in person. The instructor was great and not at all holier than thou.
As for love, why don't you get over the hot guys bit and just focus on them as people. Good looking does not always mean that they are not looking for something more too. Chances are he left you feeling just as lonely and wondering what he did wrong to be on his way home alone again with an obviously empty promise to call.
Ade x
I've been reading your blog since just before you graduated college...For the life of me I don't understand why you continue to say your not hot enough to attract the hot guys you attract.
Obviously, you are.
I wonder whether you need to learn to "own" your own attractiveness. Maybe it's part of what you need to do to escape your feeling of being alone -- I mean, it must be jarring to feel like a different person than the rest of the world sees.
How's that for some touchy-feely anonymous advice!
Try Driversed.com/trafficschool
It allows you to go at your own pace. Just have your online permission slip and have a go.
1. They intentionally make them long and boring. That's part of the punishment.
2. If you don't pay at least a little bit of attention, you will screw up and have to start over. That's part of the punishment.
3. Don't be silly. That's part of the punishment.
4. See 3, above.
5. See 3, above.
6. If you pay any attention at all, and stay awake the whole time, the test is easy. Don't worry about it. You just have to stay awake and pay attention. That's part of the punishment.
Matt, the next hot guy you sleep with (or the last one that you slept with), why not take some time to get to know them better and find out what's under that pretty face and hot body? Of course, it helps to know what you want in another person and why. Just a thought! - Volker
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